Illnesses in Two Point Hospital can be broken down into two main categories.
Visual Illnesses[]
Visual means you can see what illness a patient is inflicted with just by looking at them. For example, Premature Mummification patients are wrapped, head-to-toe, in bandages like an Egyptian Mummy, making their illness very easy to identify.
Non-Visual Illnesses[]
Non-Visual illnesses give no indication of what illness a patient may have, they look entirely healthy. In some very rare cases, with certain illnesses, there might be some small ticks or telling actions exhibited by the patient. For example, Litter Bug patients look like every other Pontian, however, very occasionally you might see them discard litter on the hospital floor, which is a symptom of their illness.
Illness List[]
Please click "Expand" for each section to see the illnesses for the respective game release.
Base Game Illnesses[]
8-bitten |
Animal Magnetism |
Bed Face |
Boggled Mind |
Bogwarts |
Broken Face |
Clamp |
Cross Bones |
Cubism |
Decision Rash |
Denim Genes |
Emperor Complex |
Floppy Discs |
Flumps |
Freudian Lips |
Grey Anatomy |
Grout |
Gurning Loins |
Headcrabedness |
Heart Throb |
Humerus Injury |
Hurty Leg |
Inflated Ego |
Jazz Hand |
Jest Infection |
Jumbo DNA |
Lazy Bones |
Leopard Skin |
Lightheadedness |
Litter Bug |
Lycanthropy |
Mime Crisis |
Misery Guts |
Mock Star |
Monobrow |
Mood Poisoning |
Mucky Feet |
Night Fever |
Pandemic |
Pipe Organs |
Portishead |
Potty Mouth |
Premature Mummification |
Pudding Blood |
Rock Bottom |
Shattered |
Shock Horror |
Spinal Bap |
Spontaneous Combustion |
Touch of Midas |
Turtle Head |
Verbal Diarrhoea |
Bigfoot DLC Illnesses[]
Anomalitis |
Aurora Snorealis |
Bard Flu |
Barking Mad |
Basic |
Blaggis |
Bloaty Dread |
Boneless Thighs |
Brain Freeze |
Cheese Bored |
Cold Shoulder |
Curdled Blood |
Dead Arm |
Displaced Glands |
Evergreen |
Eye Candy |
Face Plant |
Goobris |
Half Pipe |
Inverted 1080 |
Knightmares |
Menace Elbow |
Metropolism |
Monster Mishmash |
Paranoyance |
Rantlers |
Shin Blintz |
Skull Chutney |
Sore Judgement |
Sweet Teeth |
Tartan Telomeres |
Thin Skinned |
Tongue Splinters |
Pebberley Island DLC Illnesses[]
Beach Wail |
Blank Look |
Brain Farts |
Buccanear |
Budgie Struggler |
Camel Toe |
Cauliflower Ears |
Crispy Skin |
Desserted |
False Tan |
Fool's Mould |
Football Crazy |
Heat Wave |
Hermitism |
Jellied Feels |
Jet Leg |
Knobbly Knee |
Lemon Soul |
Limb Empathy |
Limpette |
Logic Problem |
Loose Jowels |
Nerological Imbalance |
Oozmosis |
Painapple |
Placid Reflux |
Sandy Crack |
Screwball |
Shadow Boxer |
Tooth Mutiny |
Trumidity |
Vested Insects |
Wanderust |
Wild Spore |
Close Encounters DLC Illnesses[]
Aller-Gs |
Anty Matter |
Asterrhoids |
Astroknot |
Bowhine |
Confidentures |
Continuthumb |
Cosmoss |
Deeply Ill-Suited |
Extraterrestical |
Fanatick |
Flack Hole |
Flat-Packed |
Frogborne |
Gorm Deficiency |
Grunt |
H. G. Swells |
Hero Complex |
Highly Ill-Suited |
Home Sick |
Horrorscope |
Hyperrealty |
Isotrope |
Lack of Humanity |
Meteormites |
Neutrainers |
Planetary Ring |
Science Friction |
Situational Gravity |
Space Caged |
Sputneck |
Star Struck |
Telemutation |
Warped |
Zodiac Arrest |
Off The Grid DLC Illnesses[]
Avocado Hands |
Bioweasel |
Bodily Druids |
Burning Desire |
Carbon Footprint |
Chocolate Shorts |
Craft Ailment |
Crystal Balls |
Diluted Pupils |
Distrawed |
Eco-Worrier |
Flappy Hamper |
Foot-in-Mouth |
Glitchy Patch |
Green Fingers |
Harebrained |
Heavyhandedness |
Incensed |
Mage Fright |
Mulch |
Nasty Trip |
Perforated Thoughts |
Pesticitis |
Pine Dented |
Pothead |
Ramshackled |
Retrogaze |
Roadstool |
Root Snoot |
Spellbound |
Sproutrage |
Stumblebum |
Tenderbox |
Weeping Iris |
Woodworms |
Culture Shock DLC Illnesses[]
Art Sick |
Banging Headache |
Blooper |
Blue Blood |
Broken Leg |
Canapains |
Concertoes |
Corrupt Footage |
Cross-Frayed |
Culture Shock |
Director's Gut |
Dramatic Paws |
Extrasensory |
Flash Back |
Fourthwall Problem |
Foxtrodden |
Guest Cist |
Inbagneato |
Limelit |
Listless |
Metrognomic |
Minty Condition |
Misdewiener |
Monopolies |
Motion Sickness |
Private Parts |
Protagony |
Shifting Perspective |
Sinewment |
Snot Twist |
Soiled Self |
Square Eyes |
Stage Hand |
Stunt Trouble |
Wardrobe Malfunction |
Writer's Block |
A Stitch In Time DLC Illnesses[]
Artificial Intelligence |
Beheadedness |
Bionic Plague |
Bloat of Arms |
Bone Head |
Byteheadedness |
Chewed a Rose |
Clockjaw |
Cod Piece |
Dino Sores |
Fomo Sapiens |
Forefraught |
Fossil Eyes |
Fractured Timeline |
Futurism |
Glass Dome |
Hacking Cough |
Historical Laughter |
Hologlands |
Hotheadedness |
Jester Infection |
Loopy |
Missing Link |
Mites of the Realm |
Parapox |
Pneumatic Tubes |
Predestinitis |
Reptile Dysfunction |
Rock Star |
Rolling Stones |
Slackbladder |
Tarred Pits |
Time Warts |
Woolly Man-Mouth |
Discovering New Illnesses[]
When a new Illness is discovered, a letter will be sent, listing the room required to cure it. There are two buttons at the bottom of this letter.
- Send Patient Home - If you cannot build the required room in a reasonable fashion, you can take a small reputation hit and send them home now.
- Get Patient to Wait - If you can build the required room, you can have the patient wait. If you do not build the room, however, the patient will either die from low Health or Rage Quit.
If the required treatment room is already built, the Hospital will still inform you a new Illness was discovered, but the patient will be sent to treatment immediately.
Diagnosis[]
- Main article: Diagnosis
Diagnosis Certainty[]
Each patient in the Hospital will have a diagnosis certainty meter that begins at 0% when they enter the hospital and can reach as high as 100%. The diagnosis certainty meter increases each time a patient visits a diagnosis room. The amount the diagnosis certainty meter increases depends on many factors including which room the patient visits, the illness the patient has, upgrades the diagnosis machine has (if the room uses a machine), the staff member's qualifications, and objects in the room.
A higher diagnosis certainty results in a higher chance for a successful treatment when the patient goes for treatment. By default in most hospitals, a patient will not be sent for treatment until their diagnosis certainty meter has risen to at least 90%. The threshold for sending a patient for treatment can be changed in the Policy tab on the Overview menu in each hospital.
Illness Difficulty[]
0% Being easy and 90% being extremely difficult.
Treatment[]
- Main article: Treatment
Curing patients will enable you to not only make money, but will improve your hospitals reputation which in turn attracts more patients.
When a doctor or nurse treats a patient, their ability and any applicable qualifications will influence the chance of success. Some illnesses are tougher than others.
Diagnosing and treating patients will keep money coming in and allow hospital expansion. Treatment will earn you money, even if it is unsuccessful or results in the patient's death.
To increase the chances of successfully curing a patient, reach 100% Diagnosis Certainty, assign your best staff to the treatment room and upgrade treatment machines.
Curing[]
Ineffective[]
Death[]
- Main article: Death
A patient can die if a treatment fails, or if their health depletes completely before treatment.
A patient will never die while in the treatment room; if their health reaches zero while they are undergoing treatment, the treatment will be allowed to conclude, and if successful, they will still survive. If they die as a result of treatment, they will leave the room and die in the corridor.
Ghosts[]
- Main article: Ghosts
When patients die, there is a 50% chance they will become a ghost and begin to haunt the hospital, scaring staff and patients, and dripping ectoplasm all over the place. A Janitor with the Ghost Capture Qualification will be required to lay them to rest.
Emergencies[]
- For a list of emergencies, see Emergencies
Emergencies are periodically presented to the player in almost every hospital. This will involve the player being sent a letter detailing a group of between four and twelve patients outside of the normal flow. In some cases the illness presented will not appear in the hospital outside of emergencies.
It is possible, ironically, to ignore the emergency notification until such time as the player is ready to accept the patients. Once accepted, the patients will immediately arrive, with flashing police lights over their head and "(VIP)" in their name to distinguish them. They will not require diagnosis, and will proceed straight to the appropriate treatment room(s), automatically moving to the top of the queue.
If enough of the patients are successfully treated within the specified time limit, the player's cash, kudosh and reputation will all receive boosts, with the rewards being significantly increased if every patient is cured. However, if less than half of the patients are cured, the hospital will take a hit to its reputation instead. In addition to the rewards, the player will receive the normal fees for each patient treated.
Even if not enough patients are treated in time, any patients still alive at the end of the time limit will remain, still wanting treatment. The exception is the Lightheadedness/Headcrabedness emergency, in which, in the style of Theme Hospital, all untreated patients will immediately die upon the time limit being reached.
Epidemics[]
- For a list of contagious diseases, see Epidemics
Epidemics are contagions that can occur in hospitals, particularly in the warmer climates. When a contagious disease has been detected, the Two Point Centre for Disease Control (TPCDC) will issue the player with a limited supply of 20 vaccines.
At the outset, 4 Pointians will be infected. The challenge is to locate the infected and vaccinate anyone displaying the tell-tale signs of the disease before it spreads (which can include Staff!), and to let no more than 2 infected patients leave the hospital.
There are four ways the epidemic may conclude:
If the endeavour is successful, the TPCDC will reward the hospital for not having to get them involved. These rewards will be a combination of 15, 10 and 2,500, with an additional 300 for each successful vaccination, and 800 for each unused dose.
If the player runs out of vaccines while there are still infected Pointians, the TPCDC will take over. This will result in a reputation loss of -12.
If more than 2 infected Pointians leave the hospital, the TPCDC will step in immediately. This will mean a reputation loss of -15.
Alternatively, the player may the epidemic entirely by clicking the next to it on the Objectives panel. The reputation loss will be -10.