Emergencies


 * Main article, see Emergencies

Emergencies are periodically presented to the player in almost every hospital. This will involve the player being sent a letter detailing a group of between four and twelve patients outside of the normal flow. In some cases the illness presented will not appear in the hospital outside of emergencies.

It is possible, ironically, to ignore the emergency notification until such time as the player is ready to accept the patients. Once accepted, the patients will immediately arrive, with flashing police lights over their head and "(VIP)" in their name to distinguish them. They will not require diagnosis, and will proceed straight to the appropriate treatment room(s), automatically moving to the top of the queue. If enough of the patients are successfully treated within the specified time limit, the player's cash, kudosh and reputation will all receive boosts, with the rewards being significantly increased if every patient is cured. However, if less than half of the patients are cured, the hospital will take a hit to its reputation instead. In addition to the rewards, the player will receive the normal fees for each patient treated.

Even if not enough patients are treated in time, any patients still alive at the end of the time limit will remain, still wanting treatment. The exception is the Lightheadedness/Headcrabedness emergency, in which, in the style of Theme Hospital, all untreated patients will immediately die upon the time limit being reached.

VIP Patients
One of the Mayor's cousins is unwell and looking for treatment.

We'll be rewarded if we treat this V.I.Patient, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: One of Jasmine Odyssey's background performers is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Roderick Cushion's make-up crew is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Two Point Radio's executives is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Mitton University's leading academics is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Two Point County's leading athletes is unwell and looking for treatment. One of the area's fanciest aristocrats is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Pelican Wharf's shiniest business minds is unwell and looking for treatment. One of the Two Point Squabbler's lead writers is unwell and looking for treatment. One of Burp!'s flavour creation team is unwell and looking for treatment.

DNA Lab
There's been an outbreak of DNA-related illnesses after tomatoes, watered by a radioactive supply from the river Bilge, sold by a Crumley Megamarket caused a range of genetic mutations. There's a group of shoppers looking for treatment. Denim Genes only: There's been an outbreak of Denim Genes in the area after trace samples of a Bungle design for regenerating trousers made it into the water supply. There's a group looking for treatment. Leopard Skin only: There's been an outbreak of Leopard Skin after Bungle's "Still (a)life" paint was used as face paint in town fairs across the County. A group of the young at heart are now looking for treatment. Touch of Midas only: There's been an outbreak of Touch of Midas after the County's favourite new fantasy-drama led to an unhealthy and vague affinity to Greek mythology. A group are looking for treatment.

We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of DNA-related illnesses after Bungle accidently distributed a faulty batch of their "Daily Vitamin Biscuit", that led to cases of genetic mutation. A group are looking for treatment, now. A group of DNA patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital fell into a fissure, and are now looking for further treatment. A group of DNA patients have run away from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. A group of DNA patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for not buying enough merchandise, and are now looking for further treatment. Leopard Skin only: There's been an outbreak of Leopard Skin after Bungle Technologies cross-bread root vegetables with big cats, and the failed attempts were then sold by a Crumley Megamarket. There's a group looking for treatment. Touch of Midas only: There's been an outbreak of Touch of Midas after treasurers at The Orb Foundation fell ill due an excess of gold in their systems. There's a group looking for treatment.

There's been an outbreak of Woolly Man-Mouth in the area after a filing error caused the operating instructions of a new loom to be engraved backwards. I'm impressed they could read, or write, instructions at all... and where'd they find the loom?

We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Woolly Man-Mouth in the area after a heated disagreement about tusk care turned burly and those involved resorted to hair-pulling. They've patched things up now, but the hair has just kept on coming. There's been an outbreak of Woolly Man-Mouth in the area after the (perfectly reasonable) demands of the Prehistoric Hairdressers' Union were not met, triggering a strike. In the meantime, some particularly overdue appointments are being referred to us for treatment.

Fracture Ward
A group of patients require treatment in a Fracture Ward. Click to see more: A group of Fracture Ward patients have finished their time at a Holistix hospital, and are now exfoliated and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Fracture Ward patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital was relocated out to sea, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Fracture Ward patients have unenrolled from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Fracture Ward patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for criticising pricing strategies, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Fracture Ward-related illnesses after a recent eclipse led to widespread falling down. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Fracture Ward-related illnesses after complications from testing Bungle's mind-controlled jetpack. A group of testers are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

Injection Room
A group of patients require immediate treatment in an Injection Room. Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Injection-related illnesses after cans of Burp! containing "bad fizz" were sold and caused a number of medical complications across the County. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Injection-related illnesses after a strange substance was found in the water along Two Point County's coastline. There's a group of swimmers looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? A group of Injection patients have left a Holistix hospital, and are now high in potassium and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Injection patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital was fired into space, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Injection patients have defected from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Injection patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for "not being sufficiently grateful", and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

Pharmacy
There's been an outbreak of Pharmacy-related illnesses after a recent craze that involved eating highlighter pens took the County by storm. There's a group looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Pharmacy-related illnesses after a software update for Bungle's \"Smart-Plasters\" led to multiple cases of blood poisoning. A group are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Pharmacy patients have been processed by a Holistix hospital, and are now nicely scented and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Pharmacy patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital dissolved over night, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Pharmacy patients have broken out of an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Pharmacy patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for making "slanderous" comments about Mr McNally, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

Psychiatry
There's been an outbreak of Psychiatric illnesses after Two Point Radio accidentally sent out a strange and distressing frequency. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Psychiatric illnesses after a self-made promotional film from The Orb Foundation was aired on a particularly rainy Sunday and unhinged huge parts of the County. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Psychiatry patients have finished treatment at a Holistix hospital, and are now poorer and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Psychiatry patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital disappeared, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Psychiatry patients have de-robed from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Psychiatry patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for failing to bow to Mr McNally, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

A local barbershop quartet, called The Four Freds, wrongly believes that they're about to embark on a massive stadium tour. They haven't even arranged for anyone to run their Barber Shop. Their families are sending them for treatment for Mock Star. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's a group suffering from Mock Star after a mysterious gas leak at a local rock concert led to never-before-seen levels of enthusiasm. Their families are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Mock Star after a recent spike in polite and positive responses to karaoke performances. The families of the afflicted are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Mock Star after a build-up of wishful thinking in the Lower Bullocks area. Their families are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Night Fever after a group of extras on-set at the latest Roderick Cushion film got carried away and didn't want to take off their costumes. The production company needs the clothes back and is looking to send them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Night Fever after some cryogenically frozen rascals from the 20th century were accidently defrosted at Bungle HQ and danced right out the front door. They're looking for treatment to fit in better in the modern day. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Night Fever after the closure of the County's oldest discotheque led to fury, mass hysteria and dancing. There's a group in need of treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Emperor Complex after a popular article about minimalist fashion led to a wave of misguided, but somewhat admirable, conviction. A group are being sent for treatment by their families. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Emperor Complex after The Orb Foundation started running a course in textiles. A group are being sent for treatment by their families. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?" There's been an outbreak of Emperor Complex after Jasmine Odyssey accidently started a trend when she... you know the story. A group of fans are being sent for treatment by their families. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Bard Flu in the area after Two Point TV commissioned a heavy handed reimagining of an old play that led to dangerous levels of the 'pretending to know anything about old plays' phenomenon. Their families are sick of them mispronouncing the characters' names and are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Bard Flu in the area after parents helped their children study for exams this season and became more invested in old theatrics than they thought they would. The exams are over now so their families are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Bard Flu after some blips in the local quality of life led to overly dramatic longing for better, older times with funny trousers, banquets and filthy, filthy water. Their families are sending them for treatment, partly to remind them that there didn't use to be hospitals. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Knightmares in the area after a group of "Cellars and Goblins" enthusiasts became irritable after a 96 hour play-through and refused to resurface or take their costumes off. Their families are sick of this happening and are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Knightmares in the area after the teachers in the history department of a local school were demonstrating medieval equipment and found that everything seemed better in a suit of armour. Their families want them to pull their heads out of the steel-plated sand, and are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Knightmares in the area after Jasmine Odyssey performed her single "The Ramparts of Love" and set about a wave of copycat clothing. There's a group of superfans that feel they've become closer to her, and their families are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Reptile Dysfunction in the area after a local aristocrat brought home some strange, narrow fruits from the New World for a dinner party. This group is seeking treatment to stop themselves burning anything more than their tongues. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Reptile Dysfunction in the area after a circus fire-eater sneezed on the entire front row of their audience. They're all convinced that it's contagious. Their families are sending them for treatment before they set the whole town ablaze. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Reptile Dysfunction in the area after a group of confused aristocrats mistook their own breath for smoke during a cold snap. Their families are tired of having their valuables piled up and sat on, and are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Artificial Intelligence in the area after a toy shop clearance sale caused an alarming run on chemistry sets. There's only so many times a kitchen can explode before a family sends someone for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Artificial Intelligence in the area after the systemic problem of generational wealth placed a number of unqualified fools in positions of power and responsibility. A lot of people are sick of this by now and sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Artificial Intelligence in the area after a quantum computer error caused every answer on a multiple-choice social media trivia quiz to be, simultaneously, correct. The families can't stand their unrelenting smugness and are sending them for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

Surgery
A group of patients require immediate treatment in Surgery. Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Surgery-related illnesses after attendees at a local town fair had their insides ruined by cake. There's a group of them looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Surgery-related illnesses after a promotion by Cheesy Gubbins led to a number of people accidentally consuming cheese-coloured ball bearings. There's a group looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Surgery patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital was declared not legally there anymore, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Surgery patients have been expelled from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Surgery patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for refusing to pay the service charge, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

Ward
There's been an outbreak of Ward-related illnesses after the Two Point Squabbler released a feature on "Advanced Sleeping Positions" with incorrect diagrams, that led to a range of internal and external conditions. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Ward-related illnesses after a range of ultra-organic bedding from Holistix caused widespread irritation and inflammation. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Ward patients have just left a Holistix hospital, and are now moisturised and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Ward patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital imploded, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Ward patients have fled from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? A group of Ward patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for questioning treatment methods, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

OTG-Icon.png Herb Garden (Off The Grid DLC)
There's a group of patients looking for treatment in the Herb Garden after some cavalier allotmenteers played around with radioactivity and developed illnesses instead of superpowers. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's a group of patients looking for treatment in the Herb Garden after Jasmine Odyssey's performance at a local botanical garden was so potent that it triggered a mass blooming that made the air mildly toxic. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? There's a group of patients looking for treatment in the Herb Garden after a Jumbo Hospital wasn't able to meet their needs. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

Base-Icon.png Base Game
There's been an outbreak of Lightheadedness in the area. There have been several cases of pilots mistaking sufferers for landing lights, most recently, a plane narrowly avoided landing on a cricket pitch. That cricket team are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Lightheadedness in the area, and, understandably, most of the sufferers would like their heads back. There's a group looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Lightheadedness in the area and, once they'd managed to communicate with a series of blink and flashes it was clear that, a group of them would like treatment.\ We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Lightheadeness in the area, causing record levels of light pollution in Hogsport, a group of patients are looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Pandemic in the area after one of Two Point County's most popular TV Chefs demonstrated a particularly complicated stew recipe, and there's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Pandemic after a range of saucepans were mislabelled as non-stick. A group of sufferers are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Pandemic after a last minute costume party coincided with a massive sale in the area's largest kitchenware outlet. A group of partygoers are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Pandemic in the area after a 24-hour outdoor "Soup-a-thon" in Flottering got caught in unforecast showers. A group of the soup heads are bone-dry, but looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

The Two Point Circus left their cages unlocked and all of the clowns have escaped. They were last spotted heading in our direction on tiny bicycles. If we can deal with the clowns I'm sure the circus will reward us. Shall we let them in? Click to see more: A group of Clowns have escaped from the nearby Cirque du Parfait and are looking for treatment to make themselves human again. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? A group of Clowns disappeared from the nearby Cirque du Parfait, during a magic show, and are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? A group of Clowns who were waiting for treatment at an Orb Foundation wellness centre have left because it was too strange for them. They're now looking for treatment elsewhere. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? A number of Clowns have run away from a travelling circus and are looking for treatment to stop being so silly. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? A group of Clowns need treatment after paying off the peanut delivery man and making an elaborate, and hilarious, escape from their tented captivity. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

A group of students from the University have lost all their colour due to excessive book learning, causing Grey Anatomy, and are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: A group of students have had their colour sapped by strict and unintelligible dress codes for certain classes, and have contracted Grey Anatomy. There's a group of them looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Grey Anatomy after a local cinema hosted a 48-hour marathon of Roderick Cushion's classic "Perilous Spandex" series, but it was a bit long and, frankly, the films didn't hold up. A group from the audience are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Grey Anatomy amongst season ticket holders at The Sloop as we hit that time of year furthest away from the season. They're desperate for sport and looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

A group of Animal Magnetism sufferers have been salvaged from a pet shop, where they were submerged in creatures, and are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Animal Magnetism after a mislabelled test tube meant that an entire batch of Bungle's skin-care line contained powerful, and scientifically heightened, pheromones. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Animal Magnetism in the area after the Crumley Megamarket sold surplus supplies of dog food as \ "Meaty Human Chow". There's a group of shoppers looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Turtle Head after a bridge collapsed, causing a number of people to fall into the river Bilge and get bitten by its indigenous turtles. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Turtle Head after a Bungle experiment inadvertendly, and temporarily, strengthened the gravity in certain parts of the County. It's alright now, except for the group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Turtle Head after Bungle produced an unusually delicious strain of lettuce that has the area's consumption up 380%, and there's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Shock Horror after Jasmine Odyssey released a new single without warning and caused dangerous levels of surprise and static electricity. There's a group of fans looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Shock Horror after a Bungle experiment accidently sent an electric current through all of the County's spoons. There's a group of yoghurt eaters looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There been an outbreak of Shock Horror in the area after a batch of Bungle's 'grown in an hour' carrots didn't have the static charge removed. There's a group of sufferers looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of 8-bitten in the area after a surge in second-hand game sales got dangerous. Many of the ancient, leather-bound disc and cartridge cases were found to be crawling with low-res spiders. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of 8-bitten in the area after some low-res spiders escaped from a Bungle research facility. There's a group looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of 8-bitten after a recent docuseries about the 90s caused a spike in nostalgia and never-before-seen rates of breeding in low-res spiders. A group of suffers are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Cubism in the area due to a particularly popular and provocative art exhibition. There's a group sufferers still at the gallery and looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Cubism in the area after a well-made mini-series led to a spike in the popularity of fine-art, a group of sufferers are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Cubism in the area after a bullish 6 star review in the Two Point Squabbler pushed an Art-History book into an unlikely spot on the best-sellers list. A group of readers are now looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Premature Mummification in the area after a children's Arts & Crafts show demonstrating the technique led to a number of napping parents being embalmed. There's a group of them looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Premature Mummification after a number of citizens fell victim to an Orb Foundation pyramid scheme. There's a group of them looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Premature Mummification after The Orb Foundation began performing "Toilet Paper Therapy" on members at its wellness centres. There's a group of attendees looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

BF-Icon.png Bigfoot DLC
There's been an outbreak of Barking Mad in the area after the emergency food carried by rescue dogs, in the mountains, was accidentally restocked with dog food. There's group of rescued people who were appalled, then pleasantly surprised, looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Barking Mad in the area after the "Sleep Easy" playlist on Bungle Music mistakenly added "Who's a good boy? You're a good boy", a popular canine training guide, voiced by Roderick Cushion. There are a group of indoctrinated, but well-trained, dog-people looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Barking Mad in the area after some of the local population responded to a cutlery shortage by eating with their faces, and found that they liked it. There's a group, in need of a napkin, looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Metropolism in the area after recent blackouts of electricity, heating and internet coverage have reinforced a blanket desire to live in an area with better infrastructure. There's a group of people that want to check their email looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Metropolism in the area after local convenience shops brought forward their closing time to 3 p.m. causing widespread panic and a longing for 24 hour chocolate access. A group of snack deprived yokels are mildly hungry and looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Metropolism in the area after Roderick Cushion's breakout film, the comedic romance hit "Rotting Hill" recently aired on Two Point TV. A group of vicarious popcorn-munchers are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Monster Mishmash in the area after a costume party led people to question why they wear what they usually wear and, eventually, why they do anything they do at all. There's a group of party goers, suffering from identity crises, looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Monster Mishmash in the area after viewers at a test-screening of an upcoming and provocative horror film felt an uncomfortable amount of empathy with its hideous creature. There's a group of entertained people, quietly questioning everything, looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Monster Mishmash in the area after some local gargoyles became angry and cursed the community. It's possible that 'cursed by gargoyle' isn't the cause, but that's what people are saying. There's a group, paranoid about gargoyles, looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

PI-Icon.png Pebberley Island DLC
There's been an outbreak of Blank Look in the area after an unseasonably warm period caused people's features to fade in the sun. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Blank Look in the area after a batch of Cheesy Gubbins were distributed without undergoing the ‘Cheesing' phase. The diabolical, plain Gubbins have sapped all the character out of unwitting munchers. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Blank Look in the area after Mayor Tabitha Windsock gave a remarkably poorly structured 55 minute address. The rambling has caused some damage to a number of the most politically dedicated residents. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak Wanderust after a natural lull in the area's social calendar was met with unrest and a previously unseen degree of misguided ambition. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak Wanderust in the area after a stirring acceptance speech by Roderick Cushion encouraged people to have an overly lofty understanding of their own abilities. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak Wanderust after TV signal went down on the island. It was only a matter of days before several members of the community believed themselves to be their favourite small-screen heroes and heroines. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Screwball after the next season of Bureaucats was postponed, causing an unprecedented rise in the densest forms of despair.We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Screwball in the area after a long stretch of slightly subpar weather pushed some of the population into poor health. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Screwball in the area after a table at a local pub continued to eat coins, without yielding its collection of balls, despite the owner indicating the matter had been fixed. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

CE-Icon.png Close Encounters DLC
There's been an outbreak of Flat-Packed in the area after an overbooked space-liner arrived with disgruntled, efficiently stacked travellers. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Flat-Packed in the area after a dangerously affordable sale of DIY furniture consumed the lives, and health, of cabinet-hungry locals. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Flat-Packed in the area after Crumley Bus Services decided to cut its number of buses in half to \"decrease the amount we spend to less\". There are a load of pass holders compressed and looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Frogborne after a poor vintage of houseflies proved the final straw amongst a number of 'frogs'. They've decided to leave. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Frogborne after a shoddily repaired fence allowed a number of residents to flee the Pebberley Frog Sanctuary. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Frogborne after a heroic 'frog' distracted the volunteers so her peers could escape. They've canonized her and are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Lack of Humanity in the area after a network from another solar system intercepted the Roderick Cushion film "People That Work Together". The audience didn't care too much for Roderick, but they just loved Two Point County. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Lack of Humanity after Two Point County was listed at no. 4 on a list of "Top Places to Move to in the Galaxy Right Now" in popular space periodical Half Full Moon. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Lack of Humanity in the area after one of the bigger inter-galactic transport companies accidentally misprinted their pricing to Two Point County and were forced to honour the scandalously economical quotes. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

OTG-Icon.png Off The Grid DLC
There's been an outbreak of Woodworms in the area as another generation of woodworm larvae completed their metamorphosis, becoming fully-fledged woodworms. It's a bit gross, but also kind of... beautiful? We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Woodworms in the area after a dodgy batch of furniture was sold by that unethical furnishers. We both know the one I'm talking about. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Woodworms in the area after those wand-happy fairies took it upon themselves to animate a bunch of toys. Typical. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Distrawed in the area after the untimely collapse of a hay-maze left visitors trapped without an exit. They've become very distressed, even questioning whether they're even that good at mazes. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Distrawed in the area after a local community were bombarded with a strain of emotionally-draining pollen. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Distrawed in the area after a tractor ride at the village fête took a turn for the worse, steering into a field of wheat. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Glitchy Patch after a faulty Bungle-ware update replaced all user data with a list of woodwind instruments, sorted by price per 100 grams. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Glitchy Patch in the area after the electricity supply became infested with computer bugs. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Glitchy Patch in the area after a resident connected their new blender to the internet, despite very specific instructions not to. Honestly, Trudy. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

CS-Icon.png Culture Shock DLC
There's been an outbreak of Stunt Trouble after a run on actors doing their own stunts has left their doubles sickeningly out of work. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Stunt Trouble in the area after a flash sale at Jimbo's Scooters, Capes & Jumpsuits got out of hand and negatively impacted the health of the community. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Stunt Trouble in the area after a recent screening of Roderick Cushion's blood-thumping classic \"Brisk and Livid\". We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

There's been an outbreak of Private Parts in the area after a rogue make-up artist used industrial strength costume putty and turned a group of extras in animated toys. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? Click to see more: There's been an outbreak of Private Parts after a cluster of classic of family films were released on Bungle pictures, bringing out the local population's inner children to such an extent that they've fallen ill. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here? There's been an outbreak of Private Parts in the area after a local toy factory burned their faulty stock and the resulting fumes caused the rain to become especially acidic and wistful. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?

Unused Emergencies
In early stages of development, there was such a thing as a General Emergency, specifying no illness or room: These remain in the game's files.
 * "A group of patients are looking for treatment after the last remaining County hospital in the area was shut down. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "There's been an outbreak of sickness in the area after a wave of disease-ridden children returned home for the holidays. A group of parents are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of patients have been unsuccessfully treated at a Holistix hospital, and are now slightly calmer and looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of hikers have hurt themselves on a walk in the Tumble Downs, and are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of patients have been stranded after a Bungle Medi-Tech Hospital was shut down, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of townspeople from Smogley have fallen ill after large portions of the air temporarily became and ash coloured semi-solid, they're looking for treatment, now. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of patients have escaped from an Orb Wellness Centre, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of tourists have fallen ill and need treatment so they can get back to enjoying their holiday. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of patients were kicked out of a Jumbo Hospital for eating non-Jumbo products on-site, and are now looking for further treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"
 * "A group of people in the city have become overwhelmed by modern life and are now looking for treatment for a variety of illnesses. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group of patients, should we have them sent here?"

Also included is text for a Lightheadedness emergency that seems to refer to Mitton University, although that hospital did not end up feature an emergency for that illness at all.
 * "A group of students from the university were revising for their upcoming exams and didn't leave the library for six days. They've become too bright and have contracted Lightheadednes. A group of them are looking for treatment. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"

Although Mudbury Festival features no emergencies, and a Soiled Self emergency does not feature in Fitzpocket Academy either, text for Soiled Self emergencies do exist in the game's files:
 * "There's been an outbreak of Soiled Self at the festival after a portable toilet was knocked over and sprayed those waiting in line with mud. Well, it looked like mud. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"
 * "There's been an outbreak of Soiled Self at the festival after a group of attendees experienced leg tiredness and almost disappeared into the mud after trying to sit on the floor. We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"
 * "There's been an outbreak of Soiled Self in the area after some joker thought it would be funny to start a "mud fight". We'll be rewarded if we treat this group, should we have them sent here?"